I have been stuck for a while when it comes to the Community of Jesus. While I am glad that the journey thus far led me to a place where I can really understand the depth to which the COJ damaged our family, I haven’t really felt like there was anything else I could do with that knowledge.
I know that the COJ’s teachings deeply impacted my life and family but what I do with that is up to me. I truly know that I have no ill will towards my parents in regard to their involvement. They are humans, who like me, longed for deep connection and community. There are people out there in this world like wolves ready to take advantage of our deeply human needs. Mostly my heart hurts for the young parents that my parents were – out in the world without a lot of family support and trying their best to love and raise three kids but emotionally ill-equipped to do so. I grieve for the little girl I was and the young girl I grew into without the kind of support I really needed. But the thing is, that little girl did find what she needed. She might have already been fully grown but she grew strong, smart, and I would even say, a bit fierce. I like her quite a bit.
So for me after much time to think and let it sit dormant, I have decided not to actively write about the COJ. I will allow the truth of my experience to help me as I continue to move forward with my life. As I work on my memoir I find that a focus on the COJ makes the story less authentic. I have different work to do and stories to tell.
Yet there are people out there who are still embattled and still need the validity of their story to be honored. For those people I will leave my blog up and hope that others on the same journey towards understanding will find it helpful.
My purpose continues to be to be a part of building truly empathic communities by being a part of the growth and development of young children. I will tell them stories, teach them love, and show them the power of TRUE community.
Thank you to everyone who followed this sojourn of mine. I do encourage you to visit me over at http://www.chickenhatdancing.com. I have some plans to get that moving along soon.